Top 7 Dumbest Criminals of All Time

The phrase “criminal mastermind” is often thrown around, but what we don’t hear about so often are the world’s dumbest criminals. Well, these seven criminals not only got caught, but they were so dumb we had to make a list about them. Put down those handcuffs, and get ready to take notes – here’s a list of what not to do when committing a crime.

Number Seven: Permanent Marker Masks. In 2009, two boys decided to disguise themselves with masks made using a permanent marker when breaking into an apartment. When they tried to get away, they were eventually pulled over and recognized immediately. Turns out permanent marker takes some serious scrubbing to get off.

Number Six: Planning Ahead. One man decided to plan ahead by calling the bank ahead of time before he robbed them. He did this so the bank would have the money ready for him when he got there. The bank employees had police on the phone when the robber’s accomplice arrived.

Number Five: The Applebee’s Incident. One woman decided to have a few drinks in an Applebee’s one night. She apparently looked her age and did not need an ID, but she brought one anyway. Before she got her drinks, she showed the waitress her ID on her own free will; well, it turns out the ID she showed the waitress was the waitress’ own ID that she had lost earlier!

Number Four: Texting the Wrong Person. In 2014, one Georgia man was trying to text his drug dealer for marijuana, but instead, he sent the message to his parole officer. This text to the wrong person landed him an extra two years in prison.

Number Three: The Million Dollar Bill. One 50-something man went to a Wal*Mart and tried to buy a microwave, vacuum and other appliances with a bill in the denomination of one million dollars. His plan was to buy approximately $500 worth of goods with the note and get a lump sum of cash in change. He must not have realized that the highest note of legal tender is $100.

Number Two: Hitting on the Cashier. One teenage man was attempting to rob a store with a gun, but first he had to get someone in the store to open a safe that held all the store’s money. However, the person with the safe code was not there, so the robber left his number with the store’s other employees. Apparently, he didn’t consider the possibility that they would give the police the robber’s number.

Number One: Laugh Out Loud. In 2010, one couple found out a thief was in their home when the husband made a joke to his wife, and they subsequently heard a laugh coming from upstairs. Upon investigation, they found a man who was attempting to rob them. The robber gave himself away when he laughed out loud at the joke. Hilarious!