Macaulay Culkin, the former child star best known for the Home Alone movie franchise, was thrust back into the spotlight in 2013 when word of a parody band he was playing with broke. The Pizza Underground plays medleys of Velvet Underground songs, parodying them by substituting the actual lyrics for ones about pizza. Though Macaulay Culkin and the band have amassed some controversy by fans of VU who feel the band is marring VU’s legacy, the music is all in good fun and completely non-serious. In fact, the band gets in a few pretty good jokes related to eating pizza. Here are just eight of Macaulay Culkin and the Pizza Underground’s funniest lyrics, guaranteed to make you crack a smile.
Number Eight: ‘Papa John Says’
Lyric: “But I didn’t want anchovies/ The people called and they said no mushrooms/ This pie’s cold and there’s mushrooms/ Get them off my pie.” A parody of The Velvet Underground’s “Stephanie Says,” “Papa John Says” talks about pizza toppings and how the pizza place messed up their order. The wit in this line is in the way they complain, which mirrors the way someone would complain if the delivery guy got their order wrong. It’s a bit childish, but that’s the fun in it.
Number Seven: ‘Beginning to Eat the Slice’
“Here we go again/ Hand me a napkin.” This parody takes from the first half of “Beginning to See the Light,” replacing the lyrics about the working class with how different people eat pizza. If the singer is the guy that eats the slice in one bite, he definitely needs the napkin.
Number Six: ‘Cheese Days’ – Macaulay Culkin
“I’ve been out walking/ I don’t do many toppings these days./ Cheese days/ Cheese days I seem to order cheese and don’t say please/ Then I walk away.” This little bit contemplating the singer’s recent preference for cheese pizza has all the drama of the original Nico song, “These Days,” but none of the seriousness. This line doesn’t really make any sense, which is what makes it so funny.
Number Five: ‘Pizza Day’
“It’s such a pizza day/ I’m glad I spent it with food/ Oh such a pizza day/ You just keep the oven on.” Who says the “Perfect Day” isn’t one spent eating pizza? Just keep the pizza coming!
Number Four: ‘Pizza Morning’
“Most of its gone (into my mouth)/ I was so hungry, now I am full/ I ate it for a little while/ I only ate the part with cheese/ Nom nom nom, have a bite of crust.” This line is actually a parody of “Run Run Run,” despite it being part of the track “Pizza Morning” (“Sunday Morning”), off the Pizza Underground EP, Live at Chop Suey. It’s still about eating leftover pizza in the morning, though, and vocalizes eating sounds with the inclusion of the onomatopoeia “nom nom nom.”
Number Three: ‘Pizza Gal’
“Better lock your door/ Or just order more.” Here, the “Femme Fatale” is a “Pizza Gal” who is ready to eat any pizza within her sight. This parody is a warning to make sure you keep an eye on your pizza, or if she’s already eaten yours, that you could just purchase more and share it with her.
Number Two: ‘Take a Bite of the Wild Slice’
“And the pizza gals say/ chew chew chew/ chew chew chew chew.” The entire few lines of this parody of “Take a Walk on the Wild Side” are pretty great. However, replacing the “do do dos” with “chew chew chews” is pretty clever and on point.
Number One: ‘Who Loves Pizza’
“Who loves pizza/ Who cares that it’s delicious/ Who cares how it tastes/ Since it makes me fart.” Who doesn’t love a good fart joke? This unreleased parody of “Who Loves the Sun” hilariously takes on lactose intolerance, changing the line “Since to broke my heart” to “Since it makes me fart.” It’s so immaturely funny, and it works so very well. Thank you for reading our list of the eight funniest lyrics from Macaulay Culkin and his band the Pizza Underground. We hope you enjoyed it!