Looking for a company who would take my old Ford Fiesta off me for cash, I came across Quick Sell Your Car (I’m planning on something a bit more flashy now that I am retired) and I thought I’d make a relatable post full of terrible Ford jokes. It began as a bit of a relief to be out with the old and in with the new, but then it quickly blossomed into a free for all with jokes about every brand, hand selected from the internet – so don’t be too offended! Keeping it light – and occasionally, a little bit x-rated – here are our top 20 picks for the best car jokes on the net!
Particular apologies if you drive a Fiat or a Ford, we hope your car isn’t too disheartened and I’m sure they’ll forgive us…
20 Terribly Funny Car Jokes
- What’s the difference between BMWs and Porcupines?
Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.
- A guy walks into a shop and says: “I’d like a gas cap for my KIA.” The owner thinks for a few seconds and replies: “Ok, that seems like a fair trade.”
- What is the similarity between a Ford car and a bathtub?
You don’t want to get out of either of them whilst other people are watching…
- Why is a Chevrolet an environmentally-friendly car? Because the engine never starts.
- How does a driver obtain spare parts for his Fiat?
He follows another one around, some parts will eventually fall off anyway.
- What is printed on the last pages of a Fiat service manual?
Bus and Train timetables.
- Have you seen the latest Fiat anti-theft gadget?
They enlarged the logo.
- Two blondes talk: “Elizabeth, did you know that your O O O O car is actually called an Audi?”
- What’s the good thing about Fords?
They come out of the factory with the problem already circled.
- Why did Ford make a new heated tailgate?
So your hands stay warm when you’re pushing it back home in the winter.
- How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
Park it between two Fords.
- Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
The Old Volks home!
- Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He’s all right now.
- What’s a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
- The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.
- A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Yesterday you took my license away and today you expect me to show it to you!”
- A truck driver doesn’t notice the ‘low bridge ahead’ sign and gets stuck under the bridge. Eventually a police officer arrives. He says to the truck driver, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
- I had a car crash the other day. A dwarf got out the other car and said, ‘I’m not happy’. To which I replied, ‘Which one are you then?’
- What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? A Fjord Escort.
- According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives. The other 9 percent own a Volkswagen.